Sunday, July 18, 2010
Since last winter it has been difficult to organize my thoughts into anything coherent. My life has certainly been anything but uneventful. In February, my mother passed away. There is no easy way to describe the feelings...loss being just one. For many people, their relationship with their parents is somewhat strained, for me, it was very much that. My father passed many years ago when I was a mere youth. With my mother, things were not always the best of times. It's hard to admit to, but I never really came out to my mother. I'm sure she figured it out, but after having come out to other family members it seemed I got rid of my burden, but placed a new one on them. I figured it was best not to press the issue. I could not force my mother to understand or like something she knew so little about. I couldn't have her worry about AIDS, which came out the same time I did. I couldn't make my burden suddenly hers. Many may consider my decision one of cowardice in the ongoing fight for gay liberation. Looking back, I think I made the right choice.